Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
