This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
