one two three fourrrrnication!
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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