Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
