Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
