6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize