yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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