It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
