real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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