remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
she looked like the before picture.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
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Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
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He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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