Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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