You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
