So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
