That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
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