I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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