the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize