Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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