he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
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I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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