You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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