you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
