do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
