Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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