its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Randomize
