oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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