38 yer olds are good kisserssss
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
