You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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