i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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