brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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