totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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