im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
