i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Randomize
