just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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