Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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