weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
