i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
