Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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