arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
