What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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