Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I just threw up on my dentist
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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