just tell him i said nine months
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
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Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
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there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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