It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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