Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
