That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
