You're my little dorito
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
