Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
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She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
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Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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