I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
