Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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