I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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