Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
