Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Randomize
