I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize