yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I am midnight drunk by noon
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
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She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
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He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize