feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
