I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
