to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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