i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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