If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
