whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Randomize
