It's Friday. Sex?
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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