brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
