Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
So. Much. Porn.
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