Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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