Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
