Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
A bitchslap is in order.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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