Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
